A Testimony of God's Grace

The beauty and intricacy of God’s creation has always captivated me. Even as a very young child I began to see the “bigness” – the awesomeness of God through his creation. More than that, though, I knew about God as he is revealed in his written word, the Bible, because of my parents’ teaching me about God’s character, his laws, our sinfulness, and our need for reconciliation with him. At age five I asked God to forgive my sins though the sacrifice of Jesus Christ his son and to teach me to follow him. At the time, my understanding of God’s holiness and my detestable sinfulness was very small.

Romans 3:23 says,
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.


I knew God was good and I was not, but I did not have a great grasp on how far I really did and do still fall short of the holiness of God. He did, even with such little understanding, give me the beginning of great desire to know God and be with God. As I grow in knowledge and faith I learn more and more the horror of my sin and the depth of my sinful character. This alone would, of course, be devastating, but I also continued to learn and experience the depth of God’s mercy and grace knowing that the penalty for my sins has been paid by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.
Romans 5:8 says,
God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Not only have I been justified by his sacrifice, but he continually grows my character and molds me to his perfect character. Although, in this life in this earthly body – my flesh, I will always have sinful desires, God faithfully sanctifies me – that is, he teaches me and enables me to live in more complete submission to him and to model his character. As he does this work in me, he increases my capacity to experience the greatest joy and pleasure possible under any circumstance, whether in scarcity or abundance, happiness or sorrow. That great joy and pleasure that no circumstance can destroy is simply being in the presence of God. Though my sins and weaknesses still keep me from seeking my greatest joy in submission and obedience to God which leads to wonderful fellowship with him, he is merciful and persistent in his guidance.

That was a pretty broad overview without any specific events other than my initial conversion, but there have been many significant events and lessons along the way – all used by God to teach me and bring me closer to him. Here are a few of those events:


- My baptism at age nine
- Learning the importance of reading the Bible on my own at
age 11
- Beginning a more consistent habit of reading the Bible daily in middle school
- Seeking God during a time of doubt and feeling of terrible distance from God during my freshman year of college.
- two and a half months in Peru on a summer mission trip during college
- engagement
- marriage
- having children

There are more, and more detailed stories behind each, but each event’s commonality is that God was at work every time. I know he will continue to lovingly guide me. Philippians 1:6 says,

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

I pray that God continually increases that desire for him that he gave me 23 years ago as a small child.

What an Unexpected Joy!

What an unexpected joy it has been to partner in prayer with my friends on the mission field. When I had Levi, almost three years ago, a friend at church told me a very valuable lesson she learned after having a few children. (Thank you, Angela). She told me how nice those middle of the night feedings for a new baby can be when you spend that time in prayer. It may be one of the few consistent quiet times for prayer and is very beneficial. When Melissa, my teammate on a summer mission trip to Peru in 2005, went back to Peru as a missionary this past summer, she asked for people to partner with her in prayer. I told her I would pray for her, and what a surprising blessing it has been for me to pray for her. Although there is infrequent personal communication between us, it has still greatly helped me keep a more eternal focus. As Americans with comfortable lifestyles, it is easy to lose focus on God and his will and become very self-centered and spiritually weak. Melissa writes frequent blog posts detailing lessons God is teaching her on the mission field, and they are excellent reminders of our purpose as believers in Christ.

Also, over the past few years, my husband and I have developed a friendship with Mary and Daniel and their five children who were raising funds to go to Malawi as missionaries. As they were raising funds, they also asked for people to pray for them, so we have been doing that for a few years now. They made significant sacrifices and worked very hard for years to raise the needed funds. They finally raised enough money to move and left for Malawi this past September. Their sacrificial lifestyle extended into their friendships as well. Not only have we been blessed by the opportunity to partner in their adventures and challenges through prayer, but we have been blessed by their prayers for us and their friendship.

It seems that in the months and even the last few weeks before Mary and Daniel moved to Malawi, my friendship with Mary grew significantly. I knew I would miss her, so I tried to spend as much time with her as I could, especially the month before they moved. With my husband’s new job we were out of town four to five days a week, but in August we were in Chattanooga, so we were back in town for the same month they were back in Chattanooga from their seven weeks of training. I believe God wanted to cement our friendship and enable us to be more helpful during the time they were preparing to move. It was also inspiring to see so many people from church surround them with support and meet their needs. The logistics of moving a family of seven to Africa is overwhelming, but God’s provision through the Body of Christ, the Church, is incredible.

Time with God in prayer and His wonderful gift of meaningful friendship is amazing and truly an unexpected joy.

Success to Significance

Some time ago I heard the phrase, "move from success to significance," in a promotional video for a missions' organization. A shift in the focus of Christians from success as viewed by our culture to a significant life in Christ is profoundly needed. Many times doing what God leads you to do is not going to bring you the greatest wealth, education, or status. There is nothing wrong with these things, but if they are not used for significant purposes, they are worthless. Referring to our physical needs, Christ said in Matthew 6:33, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." In Timothy Keller's book "Counterfeit Gods," he discusses several different idols that can easily take hold in our lives. Chapter four, "The Seduction of Success," clearly demonstrates the destructive nature of success as an idol in one's life. When success is our primary goal, we live lives in fear of failure instead of joy in the work God has given us. With worldly success as an idol, we can never measure up to God's standard - perfection. Keller states, "More than other idols, personal success and achievement lead to a sense that we ourselves are god, that our security and value rest in our own wisdom, strength, and performance." That, like many sins with which I struggle, is rooted deeply in pride. We must be reminded of our depravity and from where we came, so that resting in God's grace, and not our own power, is the obvious choice. When overwhelmed by the grace of God, I feel I am less likely to be discouraged by the ways I don't measure up to someone else's idea of success, whether that has to do with my career, education, or any other ability. Having pride in myself will only lead to disappointment. I find it ironic that humility can actually make me feel better in the long run than pride can.

Corruption, Part 2, A Confident yet Cautious Rebuke for Believers

If you have not read the previous entry, please stop reading this, and read it first.

As before, I want to be clear that wisdom comes from God, therefore, this rebuke is a reminder to me as well as other believers. If you don’t have God’s Spirit guiding you as you read his word, you will distort it because of your own selfish desires. We must not forget that our natural hearts are “deceitful above all things and desperately sick…”

There are many practices our culture accepts and even condones that are wrong and despised by God, and some of them are even becoming accepted by the Church. The one that I will look at today is our culture’s standards regarding sex and marriage and God’s standard presented clearly in his word.

“Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let not the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and the adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4

Throughout scripture it is clear that God designed sex for within the covenant bond of marriage. It is the God ordained means of the “two becoming one flesh (Gen. 2:24).” God intends this commitment to last for life. Of course, anyone can see the obvious emotional advantages to a marriage lasting for life for the couple and for their children. Statistically, there are typically even financial advantages to a couple staying together. Even with this knowledge, with our incomplete view of love and attempting it in our own strength instead of God’s, many become discouraged and believe it is better to divorce than to remain married (I do believe that divorce is allowed by God when one spouse has been unfaithful and remains unrepentant. I also believe that separation and possibly divorce are also necessary in cases of abuse). However, I think that most Christians still oppose divorce even though they have failed marriages just like unbelievers, but for some reason the view of sexual purity before marriage, including the engagement period, has become a grey area even for many Christians. It is not a grey area. It is difficult, and the temptation is extreme, but it is not grey. As Christians we are called to the standard taught by Jesus Christ. He says in Matthew 5:28, “… But I say to you that everyone who looks with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” By his standard even our thoughts should be pure. Other than those gifted by God to have no sexual desire, everyone is guilty of adultery of the heart. So we are all in the same sinful state. This reminder should help keep us humble when standing up for Christ and his standard of purity. We all fall short, but by God’s grace and his Sprit working in us, we can do better, not perfectly in this life, but better. With all our shortcomings in mind, we must say what is right even if we are hated because of the truth we speak. To my Catholic friend who is living with her fiancé, I must say, “You know this is not right.” That is not an enjoyable thing to do. I don’t want to upset my friend or put a rift between us, but if I really love my friend, I’ll tell her the truth gently.

Because I have been tempted to be sexually impure, I can identify with others who struggle with this, but nearly everyone can. However, when it comes to the temptation to engage in sexual activity with a person of the same sex, I don’t have a clue. That is why, I am even more afraid to touch that subject, but any sexual activity outside of the bond of marriage is wrong. We should not engage in it or indorse it. Some Christians have said that a homosexual lifestyle is good as long as it is in a lifelong commitment just like a heterosexual marriage. Therefore, they are for same sex marriage. No matter how sweet a homosexual relationship appears, no matter how good the friendship, no matter how long-lasting, God still calls it impure and degrading.

Before you agree or disagree, take time to read Romans chapter one with a prayerful and humble heart and mind. There are many more passages to read and study about sexual purity as well as marriage that will give you understanding with God’s guidance.

Don’t be afraid. Search your heart, take the “log out of your own eye” so you can see clearly, and then speak the truth confidently with love.

Better is an open rebuke

Than love that is concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,

But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Corruption

Ephesians 4:18-22

“They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Chirst! - assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off you old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires…”

The passage above is just one of many describing the terrible state our hearts are in without the regeneration of Christ, and as long as we remain in this world, we are temped and weakened by our own sinful desires. That is why we must constantly seek the truth through time studying God’s word, praying for his guidance, and encouraging one another as believers. Without using the means God has provided for us to seek him, we will be deceived. I should at this point also recognize I can be deceived and what I write may not be quite correct, but the following comes out of my desire to know the truth and express it so that by this exercise I may be able to clarify things in my own head and so that other believers may be encouraged as well.

In many areas our culture has taken what is corrupt and made it seem right and even beautiful, and what is good has become seen as intolerant or hateful. When we understand the deceitfulness of our own hearts, this is not at all surprising. Before I even attempt to attack any of our skewed views, I would like to look at a few more passages about the “heart” or “natural man.” Jeremiah 17:9 probably states the most bluntly the condition of our heart:

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?”

Not only is the hearts' condition deceitful and sick, but it is blind, foolish and helpless as shown in the two following passages.

“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled only to those who are perishing. In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:3-4

“For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,

‘I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.’” 1 Corinthians 1:18-19

I encourage you to read these passages in context to understand them more clearly, but I think it is clear hear that our understanding is clouded and incomplete; only wisdom that comes from God can allow one to see the truth. Relying on one’s own understanding is foolish, and God will allow you to remain foolish while seeking your own understanding. God’s ways are beyond our human understanding, so we must have his guidance.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

Since understanding and wisdom come from God, it does not concern me to the same degree when those who do not claim to follow Christ are corrupt and not only willing to break God’s commands but encourage others to do the same. However, when Christ’s church is blind to sin and corruption and even endorses it, that is tragic and weighs heavily on my mind.

I have written this cautiously and will do the same for my next entry as I attempt to bring to light some terrible things that I see fellow brothers and sisters in Christ doing or supporting. The main reason I must be so careful is that my pride is always lurking around me ready to take my best efforts and twist them into selfish and spiteful things.

Fighting for Peace

Here is a link to the book by John Owen referenced below. It is not an easy read partly because it was written in the 1600’s, but it is definitely worth reading. http://www.ccel.org/ccel/owen/mort

“…the life and vigour, and comfort our spiritual life depend much on our mortification of sin.”

-John Owen ch 4 of, Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers

True sorrow over sin will lead to repentance, and the guilt and sorrow will be short, but the joy and comfort in the work of Christ is profound and lasting. Though more sorrow, guilt, and then again repentance will come, our joy and comfort in Christ can be ever increasing. Speaking of the comfort from God, John Owen says,

“The use of means for the obtaining of the peace is ours; the bestowing of it is God’s prerogative.”

We are to be actively fighting our sin with the power given to us by the Holy Spirit and by the understanding we have been given of God’s word. While studying the mortification of sin, the following question repeatedly comes to mind. How does this constant battle with sin fit with the peace and rest in God? It seems that the constant battle and rest go together, and that you can’t have one without the other.

Desires

As a result of reading Galatians and the first three chapters of John Owen’s Of the Mortification of Sin in Believers, I have written some things that came to mind. Actually as I reread what I wrote, I remember pieces of Philippians and much of John Piper’s writing. Keep in mind this has not yet been particularly well thought out.

We can rejoice in God’s fulfillment of our comforts and respond with gratitude, and we can rejoice amid sorrow because it is allowed by God and can be used to glorify him. No circumstance can keep us from seeking him and enjoying him. We are not commanded to be happy but to rejoice – to praise him, and we have plenty of reason to do that. With God as our greatest desires, other desires when left unfulfilled, do (should not) not consume us or even hinder our complete passion for God. God gives us the desires of our hearts, but he does not always fulfill the desires of our bodies for the sake of our hearts. I am not talking about desires of our sinful nature (“the flesh”) but simply our desires for comfort. Even our amoral desires may have to be tempered at times to allow complete focus on our new heart’s desire to glorify God and enjoy him.